babygirl

We hate to see her cry just as much as she probably hates to let her feelings show but she has no choice. She has no control over her emotions; she always screams about how overwhelming they are and when she has to run to the shower everytime, we have learned to understand. Neither of us could even try to understand what she has went through. Both of us have gone through our share of heartbrakes; some bigger than others but still.. none compare to this continuous one. She steps in the shower with all of her makeup running down her face, partly clothed becuase since he's been gone she just doesnt have the energy. She stands in the shower completely soaked. It makes her feel comfortable. The water disguises her tears and the way the drops hit muffle her sounds. And just knowing that she can feel the drops is okay enough for her because she is always reassured that she is alive.

.

Nothing feels right right now.
I feel extremely out of place almost everywhere i am.
There seems as if there is another something controling my mind and my feelings.
I feel dirty and alone and somewhat indescribable.

The move, moval, the drive, the sex, the 60 and the 15 and the 10 and the 210, the 4runner, the camrey, the school, track, me, and my mom, my dog, my shower, my feelings, and my thoughts, my nail polish, my dirty jeans and dirty shirts, the cold days and the colder nights, this pleather jacket, the storm, my itouch, the music, the tv, the news, and episodes of sex and the city.

Nothing feels right at all.

Tonight

As I looked at him from across the one spot in the whole school that no one likes to walk across, even if you are a senior, she said to me " Brittany, don't fall in love again !" Trying not to sound too gay, i replied with a "I can't, cause i never fell out of love."


But on the bright side, Canada was fun.


View from the hotel


Spot the black person !


Longassscaryassbridge.

Slow Dancing in a burning room - John Mayer
Lesson Learned - Alicia Keys ft. John Mayer

they help (:

Right now.

Ehh, earlier i realized a lot of things about him and i and me and him and shit. Continuously i couldn't figure out why it hurt so much and why i felt almost as if i had made the wrong decision. But after resorting to everyone's favorite quartet of new york women and their lives and their problems, i realized why i shouldn't feel the way i do. I realized, after a while, that had he not went off and did things with other girls, repeatedly, things would be different today. And maybe if i wouldn't have grown a pair and went off into plenty of nights with a man's mentality that maybe we could have made it. But, he did and I did, and that's just the way things ended up.

So, I've decided that today is the last day that i ever write anything else about it.
It's been fun, but it's time to officially move on.
& yeah, im gay and emotional, fuck off.

Leavin' on a jet plane

You know that feeling you get when you see something you didn't want to see or was hoping you wouldn't see and your heart just drops to your ass. And your like mann its cool, its whatevers, its chill ! But you know your heart isn't going to reposition itself for a minute. Yeahhhhhhhh, thass wassup. -__________________-

Gahhd dos posts in one day. May I be excused from the table ma ?

Today's the day.

Well, I lied. I went with my dad to go vote (: Annnd they gave me a sticker.







Bahahhahahah alright im done -___-
Go bamamamama !
It's 6:42 im the pm November 4th, 2008 and it is 200 - 90 OBAMAMAMAMA.

Mannn

I don't want to go through this shit again.