Heartbreaker

I wasn't myself on that night. That night when I decided it was okay to embrace every pink, luscious pair of lips i came into contact with. I knew every face those lips belonged to and it wasn't the first time mine had come into contact with them, but when did it become okay to get every piece of ass you want? When did kissing a boy become as easy a task as asking someone their name? It really shouldn't be this easy but then again these boys weren't much of challenge on that warm summer night. That night when our hormones were raging with the fear that we might not ever see each other again so our wildest dreams of infatuation had to come true before we had to depart. I had just begun to drink and he had a curfew so we did what we could with the little bit of time we were given. He asked me if I wanted to go to my car and I thought it absurd at first that a boy asked me to go to my car but then i forgot about the sense it lacked at answered with a "yes, i do." As we walked down the street he held my hand as if we had been together for months. It was strange but then the way he kissed me the second i walked into the party was strange too so I decided not to question its nature.

When we reached my car I clicked the unlock button twice and he opened the back door. How chivalrous of him I thought at first but then my gut corrected interrupted my thinking and reminded me of how dumb I really had become. I stepped in the backseat first and he swiftly followed as if he'd been playing out this moment over and over in his mind. I slid over on the seat and sat up against the opposite door. He knelt on hands and knees and kissed me. The kisses were sweet but the feelings were bitter. I had feelings for this boy but even I was surprised that we had actually gotten to this point. The kisses got rougher and rougher so even I knew what was about to happen. He held my neck with his right hand letting me know that he knew exactly what he was about to do to me and that this wasn't his first time doing it. He slid his hands down to take off my shirt. Now i understood exactly what was going on so i decided to take his off too. He was an athlete and his body was no disappointment. In that same moment he looked at me as if his eyes were trying to tell me something that he didn't have enough strength to say with his words and he kissed me hard. So hard and with so much passion a chill went up my spine and violently shook my entire body. I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him back just as hard. Without a second of hesitation we were almost completely bare. I was as naked as I was the day I was brought into the world but he kept on his pants. Fuck me he was gorgeous. The way the streetlight shone on his face through my fogged windows made his golden brown skin glow something beautiful.

living space

My limewire says I have no internet connection, this wine is extremely cheap and I feel like writing. Your right, my best writing does come out when i'm inebriated but please don't use this as an example. All I can think about is you and how much you've influenced my life and you don't even know it. I did acid on saturday and for the majority of the trip all i could think of is how much fun i'd have if i was with you. Being able to hear your views and thoughts on life and how everything works would have been music to my ears except.. I was already listening to music, but it doesn't matter. I wish you would come up to see me or at least send me something. You did ask for my address, remember? Remember that night that we went to LA to see, what was their title? The Titans? I can't remember exactly, but they did the cover of Phillis Dillons' Picture on the Wall. Remember that? And after we left we went to your friends house and I threw up by the kids' slide and you came over to give me your jacket and gave me just the amount of affection i needed? Then i went over and made out with your best friend but he critizied my kissing so I don't really count that one as if it really happened. He's cute and all, but your something beautiful. Your different and I fell in love with you when I was in 7th grade at a carnival going through my most confusing years. But now I don't know if I would call it love because I don't know enough about you to love you but your beautiful and that's all that matters.

Goodnight and dreamsweet.