Tonight

As I looked at him from across the one spot in the whole school that no one likes to walk across, even if you are a senior, she said to me " Brittany, don't fall in love again !" Trying not to sound too gay, i replied with a "I can't, cause i never fell out of love."


But on the bright side, Canada was fun.


View from the hotel


Spot the black person !


Longassscaryassbridge.

Slow Dancing in a burning room - John Mayer
Lesson Learned - Alicia Keys ft. John Mayer

they help (:

Right now.

Ehh, earlier i realized a lot of things about him and i and me and him and shit. Continuously i couldn't figure out why it hurt so much and why i felt almost as if i had made the wrong decision. But after resorting to everyone's favorite quartet of new york women and their lives and their problems, i realized why i shouldn't feel the way i do. I realized, after a while, that had he not went off and did things with other girls, repeatedly, things would be different today. And maybe if i wouldn't have grown a pair and went off into plenty of nights with a man's mentality that maybe we could have made it. But, he did and I did, and that's just the way things ended up.

So, I've decided that today is the last day that i ever write anything else about it.
It's been fun, but it's time to officially move on.
& yeah, im gay and emotional, fuck off.

Leavin' on a jet plane

You know that feeling you get when you see something you didn't want to see or was hoping you wouldn't see and your heart just drops to your ass. And your like mann its cool, its whatevers, its chill ! But you know your heart isn't going to reposition itself for a minute. Yeahhhhhhhh, thass wassup. -__________________-

Gahhd dos posts in one day. May I be excused from the table ma ?

Today's the day.

Well, I lied. I went with my dad to go vote (: Annnd they gave me a sticker.







Bahahhahahah alright im done -___-
Go bamamamama !
It's 6:42 im the pm November 4th, 2008 and it is 200 - 90 OBAMAMAMAMA.

Mannn

I don't want to go through this shit again.

SO..

ALMOST got my web pirced but too bad i fucking passed out in the chair..

so technically, i dont have it pierced, but the holes are there.
I'm so mad.

Hey baby watch out, your sex is on fire.

DUUUUUDENOMOEMOFUGGINSHIT.

I don't know how much longer i can do this ! can't take this shit no moe !
Alright alright alright, check it.

Here's what is baffling me at the moment. NOW correct me if im wrong but you said you loved me ehhh like 13 days ago. Now that might have been true or not but if it wasn't why'd you bother saying it ? You know damn well, as did I, you didn't mean it. I mean its been a week or so and your already riding every girls dick. I mean shit. If your trying to prove something, you can stop i understood all that shit months back baby, but if this is just who you've become -- well then i hope you have fun.

pee.essssss. stop reading myshit.

"I missed your fayyyyce"

i lahhhh you paulita i laahhh you
hahah check those kicks (:

Begin to rewrite me

We were never in love. Him and I. We weren't in love according to Webster or to the Bible. Everyone had doubts. My mom told me I was going to fast. Kathleen told me to watch out. Others told me to just have fun, "shit you guys aren't married". I liked to believe that the problems we had weren't that big of a deal as does every person completely filled with whatever cupid's fucking arrows hold. It's almost as if a sheet is cast over your being and your only able to see and think and feel what love wants you to see and think and feel. It's not fair.

So dysfunctional

Normally I wouldn't have it this way, but it was dark. He sat there, at a slant, maybe so I couldn't see the expressions on his face, but I'm sure it wasn't purposly, just something we had both become accustomed to. We rarely looked at eachother if at all. He sat there, with the joint just barely being clasped by his thumb and index but with help from his middle. The smoke rose and the ashes fell and i was so used to it that it barely bothered me.

I could tell he didn't give two shits about what i had to say, but at least we were talking. Well I was talking and I wish he would respond but he never did. He never does. I always wondered what he thought about when the silence hit the room. Was it me? Was it her? Was it the weed or the drinks or maybe a way to get out of this coalition? I don't know and I guess I never will.

I felt so senseless around him. He would look at me as if he had something to say or confess, but never did. I always waited for the moment when everything would just fall out. But it never did. So i sat there and thought about my life and his life and if this was right. Was it? No i honestly don't think it was but it was different. And for some abnormal reason, I was attracted to different.

Honestly,

I didn't know it was going to hurt this bad. I didn't even know I cared this much. Turns out, its does. But at least now I know what love is, and maybe I'll recognize it next time it comes around.. if it ever does.

I thought about you two, together. And right there my heart stopped. And then I thought about you two, together, continuously.. while I thought nothing of it this whole time. And I couldn't even breathe.

That's really all there is to it. I don't eat nor do i sleep. And if I do sleep, it's bad sleep.. cause I have to lay in that bed where I always used to lay with you and its hard. I just want you to know that it's incredibly hard.

Asleep

I hate having priorities. I just wanna do what I wanna do. Like, maybe just lay down with him and read. Sounds like a bloody good evening. :]]]]]]]

Different day, Same ol' shit.

With a slight twist.

Begin to rewrite me

Humdililah allah jahova yaweh dios maat ja rastafara fyah dance sex music hip hop.



I have so much on my mind, but can't seem to put it in words.

HEY you.

Your fucking stupid. Honestly you think breaking up other people's relationships will benefit you in the end ? It won't, because I know you. Your just one of those poeple that hides their emotions but when its too late, they sabatoge to get things back to the way they were. Even if it was just a little crush that was going nowhere.. maybe just maybe you could have made it work out for you. But your dumb and inconsiderate and you need to focus on your own problems and your own damn life. Who the HELL do you think you are.. no, I can't believe you even had the nerve to ask him to do that. Your fucking dumb, he doesn't like you, get over it. Now to be completely honest, I'm looking out for you. I know you, and I know the games you play. I know that you try to sneak in to the other side and try to spit your game. I KNOW YOU. And just knowing that alone, you should know your not getting anywhere with this one. But on a different note, what if it did work out for you ? How would you feel about yourself, how many new enemies will you have gained ? Is it really worth it to come up on something that you had to force feelings into ? Would it last very long ? Or are you just looking for a quick one-nighter.. or in your case a quick couple-weeker. Just to build you up and send you fucking CRASHING down like they always do ? But I'll let you think about that one ! So have fun with your little comments, requests, homework help, library time, quick rides, making a fool of your self, and fucking up like you always do. Becuase if you read this and decide to call me the bitch.. I'd like you to take a step back and just recall the things you've said and what your trying to do. Then we'll see who the bitch is.