SO..

ALMOST got my web pirced but too bad i fucking passed out in the chair..

so technically, i dont have it pierced, but the holes are there.
I'm so mad.

Hey baby watch out, your sex is on fire.

DUUUUUDENOMOEMOFUGGINSHIT.

I don't know how much longer i can do this ! can't take this shit no moe !
Alright alright alright, check it.

Here's what is baffling me at the moment. NOW correct me if im wrong but you said you loved me ehhh like 13 days ago. Now that might have been true or not but if it wasn't why'd you bother saying it ? You know damn well, as did I, you didn't mean it. I mean its been a week or so and your already riding every girls dick. I mean shit. If your trying to prove something, you can stop i understood all that shit months back baby, but if this is just who you've become -- well then i hope you have fun.

pee.essssss. stop reading myshit.

"I missed your fayyyyce"

i lahhhh you paulita i laahhh you
hahah check those kicks (:

Begin to rewrite me

We were never in love. Him and I. We weren't in love according to Webster or to the Bible. Everyone had doubts. My mom told me I was going to fast. Kathleen told me to watch out. Others told me to just have fun, "shit you guys aren't married". I liked to believe that the problems we had weren't that big of a deal as does every person completely filled with whatever cupid's fucking arrows hold. It's almost as if a sheet is cast over your being and your only able to see and think and feel what love wants you to see and think and feel. It's not fair.

So dysfunctional

Normally I wouldn't have it this way, but it was dark. He sat there, at a slant, maybe so I couldn't see the expressions on his face, but I'm sure it wasn't purposly, just something we had both become accustomed to. We rarely looked at eachother if at all. He sat there, with the joint just barely being clasped by his thumb and index but with help from his middle. The smoke rose and the ashes fell and i was so used to it that it barely bothered me.

I could tell he didn't give two shits about what i had to say, but at least we were talking. Well I was talking and I wish he would respond but he never did. He never does. I always wondered what he thought about when the silence hit the room. Was it me? Was it her? Was it the weed or the drinks or maybe a way to get out of this coalition? I don't know and I guess I never will.

I felt so senseless around him. He would look at me as if he had something to say or confess, but never did. I always waited for the moment when everything would just fall out. But it never did. So i sat there and thought about my life and his life and if this was right. Was it? No i honestly don't think it was but it was different. And for some abnormal reason, I was attracted to different.

Honestly,

I didn't know it was going to hurt this bad. I didn't even know I cared this much. Turns out, its does. But at least now I know what love is, and maybe I'll recognize it next time it comes around.. if it ever does.

I thought about you two, together. And right there my heart stopped. And then I thought about you two, together, continuously.. while I thought nothing of it this whole time. And I couldn't even breathe.

That's really all there is to it. I don't eat nor do i sleep. And if I do sleep, it's bad sleep.. cause I have to lay in that bed where I always used to lay with you and its hard. I just want you to know that it's incredibly hard.

Asleep

I hate having priorities. I just wanna do what I wanna do. Like, maybe just lay down with him and read. Sounds like a bloody good evening. :]]]]]]]