A relationship is effort, i will match your work.

But i guess he came up a bit short.

We had moved up the ladder of uhh, emotional stability [ha] so much. So much closer to perfection, i thought. But i guess just like before i hadn't noticed all the little knicks in the rungs.

-_____-

I feel like im bound to fail.

.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Too much shit on my mind. I can't handle all these dates and deadlines, its fucking driving me crazy. Looks like im gunna be attending motherfucking mt. sac seeing as how im turning in the housing app late because i didnt remember the fucking date. WHAT THE FUCK. This shit is so frustrating, if i dont get housing, i am fucked. Fuck.

ACCEPTED

to ucr & SFSU !!!



i never realized how dark it is in here -____-

Aye yo smokkkkey !

A cluster of vultures are swarming around inside my throat and when i breathe hard enough I swear you can hear them talking about how their going to ruin my day.

babygirl

We hate to see her cry just as much as she probably hates to let her feelings show but she has no choice. She has no control over her emotions; she always screams about how overwhelming they are and when she has to run to the shower everytime, we have learned to understand. Neither of us could even try to understand what she has went through. Both of us have gone through our share of heartbrakes; some bigger than others but still.. none compare to this continuous one. She steps in the shower with all of her makeup running down her face, partly clothed becuase since he's been gone she just doesnt have the energy. She stands in the shower completely soaked. It makes her feel comfortable. The water disguises her tears and the way the drops hit muffle her sounds. And just knowing that she can feel the drops is okay enough for her because she is always reassured that she is alive.

.

Nothing feels right right now.
I feel extremely out of place almost everywhere i am.
There seems as if there is another something controling my mind and my feelings.
I feel dirty and alone and somewhat indescribable.

The move, moval, the drive, the sex, the 60 and the 15 and the 10 and the 210, the 4runner, the camrey, the school, track, me, and my mom, my dog, my shower, my feelings, and my thoughts, my nail polish, my dirty jeans and dirty shirts, the cold days and the colder nights, this pleather jacket, the storm, my itouch, the music, the tv, the news, and episodes of sex and the city.

Nothing feels right at all.